Land of the Lost is a Lot of Fun

I vaguely remember the original Land of the Lost tv show for really no other reason than those scary anthropomorphic reptiles the Sleestaks haunting my dreams by slowly chasing after me, succeeding in acting as a metaphor for my eventual death...not sure when it will happen, it may take years to get there, but the Sleestak will never stop searching for you and eventually you'll be dead. Little snippets of my cinematic mind remember them coming awake from their sleeping chambers after a character made too much noise or something, and you could guarantee I'd have nightmares for days after.


I really did enjoy the movie rendition of the tv show. Yeah, Will Farrell and that Kenny Powers guy are doing their same old schtick, but it's enjoyable. Actually, Kenny Powers is really toned down here but I love Eastbound and Down so it's always a delight to see Danny McBride. I had never seen Anna Friel in anything before but knew who she was and, yeah, I have a little crush on her now. She's super cute. I also saw some paparazzi photos of her sunbathing on the Riviera one time and they were awesome.



The Today Show co-host Matt Lauer makes a couple cameos here as Will Farrell's antagonist (or perhaps it's Farrell who is Lauer's), and he gives Farrell the beating I think we all wish he would've given Tom Cruise when that Scientologist freakazoid berated him for not knowing what that cult/church knows about psychology. We all saw how Lauer just sat there and took it like a little girl. Soooo unfortunate because someone needs to give that cult member a beatdown but here anyway Lauer as himself can push his weight around a little, all under the safety umbrella of a fake reality. It was mildly funny. Much more enjoyable and preferable are the scenes with the mssing link-like primate Chaka, played by Jorma Toccane. Some funny stuff there. He loves boobs and the simple primative things in life, like not being eaten by dinosaurs or Sleestaks.



All and all some enjoyable stuff here. Yeah, not the greatest movie on the planet, but you sorta know what you're getting into when you sit down to it. Farrell, like that skinny dorky guy Michael Cera, is always Will Ferrell. You know what you're going to get with him, regardless of who the character is, it's still Will Ferrell and all his mannerisms and everything that comes with hiring him for your movie. And when I watched this I was definitely looking forward to a Ferrell movie. Land of the Lost doesn't disappoint.

Notorious-ly Bad

I haven't written in a while and I need to write a paper today but I'm not feeling it, so just a warning, the reviews today might be total shite. Anyway...



I had heard good things about the Chris "Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls" Wallace bio pic Notorious, but sadly it didn't live up to expectations. I'm not, in any way you look at it, an expert or even a connoisseur of hip hip culture but I picked up the movie because I really dug the Tupac Shakur documentary Tupac: Resurrection and was expecting something of the same with this pic. But it's vastly different. It's not a doc but rather a movie movie trying (and failing) to recreate how a black youth surrounded by the shit culture of drugs and violence rises to become a musical icon. This pic just isn't made very well, though, and the story is uneven, and ultimately to succeed, aren't I supposed to feel sympathy for the main character or at least understand him? You can argue I just wouldn't sympathize 'cause I'm a white boy but that doesn't improve a crappy screenplay and uneven pacing.



I thought about not commenting on this but here it goes: I'm really disgusted by obese people. And Biggie was definitely obese. I can hear it in his songs and whenever he breathes; it's gross and really turns me off from his music.


Music king or burger king?

So I didn't have that on my side while watching the movie. Of course the actor playing Biggie is fat too, but I don't think I wasn't feeling any kind of sympathy in part because of his weight issues, it had so much more to do with all these choices he had and not being a fan of what he eventually would settle on. Much like Tupac, he grew up in a home where a parent pushed education; Tupac's mom is a PhD and Biggie's mom, played by the usually brilliant Angela Bassett though even her performance falls flat, spends much of her time loving and lecturing him about smart choices. Bigs chose drugs, though, and had opportunities with his music, and still choose drugs, made bad decisions, etc. For a while there he actually was a neighborhood drug kingpin and, as highlighted in the film, sells crack to a pregnant lady and quips that it's only business. Oh, but don't worry faithful viewers, we see that same crackhead lady a few years later happily playing with her child after Biggie makes it big and one of his friends says something like "hey, look at her, wasn't she a crackhead?" Well, not no more, right, cause that's what always happens. And as far as his life, c'mon, you can blame the neighborhood and the culture only up to a certain point. After that, man up, take your talent and turn it into something more.

Anyway, that's about all I got on this movie. Part of me thinks it was highly influenced by artists who are still around that are featured in this biopic. Most notably, Puffy Combs and Lil Kim. How much influence did they have in the crafty of this story and how far into the truth were the filmmakers allowed to go. Of course it doesn't paint either of them in any kind of negative light at all, especially Puffy, what with his yellow turtlenecks and lectures to stay away from drugs and all. It just seemed a little to "clean" for my tastes. But then again what do I know?

Frustrated

All I wanted to watch tonight was Kill Bill Vol 1. But I can't find it. Do you know how frustrating this is? I mean I even keep all my dvds/blu-rays in alphabetical order, I'm so anal, but it's not there. I have no idea where it could be but so I'm pissed. It's an all yellow cover so it's not like it could be camouflaged or anything. Pissed. All I really wanted, to make my life complete, was to watch Kill Bill right now. Hmmm...I guess it's True Romance, then. Kinda in a Tarantino mood this evening to compliment my Friday dinner of doritos, smartfood, chips a'hoy and beer. Where the hell is my movie?

He's That Guy

I don't consider myself to have nearly a photographic memory but there are always actors and performances I file in the back of my mind and then come back to at some other point and realize "wow, is that the same actor who was in such and such back in the late seventies?" Somewhat a kin to a movie fan's first introduction to realizing who Rutger Hauer is and how he's that guy who seemlessly shows up in so many different things, if that makes sense.



Case in point as I was thinking about my Braveheart post and watching some of the included blu-ray extras. One of the most memorable characters in that movie is Stephen from Ireland. You remember, he's the crazy dude who claims Ireland is his island? Good stuff. Well, I'm watching the actor who played him, David O'Hara, talk about his experiences filming the movie and he looks nothing like his crazy Stephen character, and I'm thinking "I know this guy from other stuff". So I sit back and close my eyes and go through the catalog of cinematic memories in my brain. Come to find out the first thing that pops in there is a scene from The Departed where he argues with Leonardo DiCaprio over the spelling of the word "citizen's". A smile comes to my face as I place the two and realize Fitzy from The Departed is crazy Irish dude from Braveheart.



And then the cinematic rolodex continues and I pop out an immaculately dressed assassin giving himself some running room inside an office building and the sprinting into and crashing through a huge glass window as Mr. X in Wanted.



Good stuff! Not that great of a movie, but so cool matching these characters to one another. That movie needed much more of his British class and presence. For some reason those Brits excel at no-BS, well groomed killers.



In this final photo here, O'Hara's Fitzy is hanging with fellow mob mic Delahunt, played by Mark Rolston. Rolston himself is forever engrained in my memory from one of my favorite movies of all time, The Shawshank Redemption. There he plays Bogs, the lead anal rapist of Shawshank Prison. "Has anyone gotten to you yet"? shiver. Sometimes I have nightmares about that line.